Thursday, June 02, 2005

kindergarten graduation

I have to confess, the phrase has always seemed like an oxymoron to me. I roll my eyes at the thought of making a big deal out of something that virtually every child in the Western world manages to do.

And I have to confess, I giggled when they started broadcasting "pomp and circumstance" as these little kids (fifth-graders holding the kindergartener's hands) paraded across the stage and bowed. It was a bit too over the top.

So why were there tears in my eyes when BigE got his "diploma?"

Maybe it was because I was embarrassed at standing up at the back of the bleachers, holding crying twins (and Chickie's hand, and a camera) and trying to keep out of the way of other people's cameras and trying to get my own pictures as well.

Maybe it's because I have a three-day headache I can't shake.

Maybe it's because I remember how little BigE was when he started Kindergarten. He couldn't read, and he was too shy to play with the other kids, and couldn't even tell me about his day. Now he reads well, plays well, and tells me entertaining stories about school.

Maybe it was remembering the day we actually forgot BigE at school, and the teacher couldn't reach me because I was on the internet, and she had to bring him home in her car. We have become, in countless ways, those horrible parents we were sure we would never be.

Maybe it was because Mac was in the backpack yanking out fistfuls of my hair.

Maybe it's because my husband needed to be out of town and had to miss the festivities.

Or maybe it was knowing that these beautiful faces (some shown below) are the people who are, potentially, going to be BigE's best friends... or worst enemies. They are going to be the ones trying to talk him into smoking a joint - or the ones saying "no thanks" alongside him. They are going to ask him for answers to the Algebra final. Or loan him milk money. Or choose him last for kickball. Or get their best friend to tell BigE to ask them to the dance.

Even if we do homeschool (the jury is still out on that one), it's a small community. He will be in the same church youth group, the same summer arts classes, the same baseball team. He'll go to the same county fair, the same grocery store, the same football games.

Maybe it's knowing that this graduation marks, on some level, the end of little-boy innocence. Whether or not we homeschool, whether we live in a small town or a big city, even whether or not we make the right parenting choices - increasingly he will be in the big world and having to make mature decisions - first with our help, and then on his own.

So I cried a little bit during this silly overdone ceremony. It was dark, though, and I don't think anyone saw me.

Maybe because they had tears in their eyes too.


Blogger Karin said...

Oh man...that's something that I've never had to think about, always being in a larger community, the whole "these are the kids he'll be with for YEARS" thought. Congrats, however, to Big E, and to you too, Kelly sweetie.

6/02/2005 6:03 PM  
Blogger Moogie said...

Thank's for a view -- bonus I could send Poppie there although he is TRIZing still he was delighted to see. Then I read Karin's stuff,,,,,Keep on posting. I've a lot to learn from daughters and friends,

6/03/2005 4:51 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

Congratulations, BigE! I can understand, at least a little, both your eye-rolling at the ceremony and your surprise emotions at the actual event ...

have you ever thought of writing articles for magazines? You have a real knack for relating this real-life stuff ...

6/04/2005 8:17 AM  

<< Home