Tuesday, September 27, 2005

bittersweet

This past week I was washing dishes, and caught a flash of something golden fluttering past my window, in the back yard.

My first instinct said it was a butterfly and then, with a jolt, I knew it was a yellow leaf floating down from the (still mostly green) trees.



This past week we celebrated Chickie's fifth birthday. She wanted to make her own cupcakes for her Kindergarten class. And she did, with a little help. She hardly seems like my "little" girl anymore.



This past week we were sick. We had to postpone Chickie's birthday party one day because I was too sick to have company. But we did manage to have it the next day. We had a good time with the family we invited; making and eating pizza, making shrinky dinks and playing outside.



This past week - after much debate, prayer and pondering - we bought a new 5-megapixel camera for our Kite Photography.

And three days after it came in the mail, we accidentally landed it in the sand. Cost of camera: $140. Estimated cost of repair, not including shipping: $120.

After more debate we're getting another new camera - because we were truly impressed with the quality of the 200 photos we managed to take in those three days.


click above photo to see it big (or huge if you prefer.)

This past week, Daniel's dad has been dying. He has been on kidney dialysis for the last few years, and in the last year has had several stroke-like episodes which have left him less mobile, less alert, and with less to enjoy of life each time. He recovers somewhat from each episode, but never fully. Mom brought him home from the nursing home a month ago, feeling that she could do a better job managing his care at home. Now he sleeps most of the time. Dad still has bright moments where he is coherent - but now those bright moments seem like golden leaves falling from the trees, rather than summer butterflies on the breeze. The golden times are (for him, and in many ways for all of us who know him) almost at an end.



I read somewhere once where a person was defending the idea of heaven based on the fact that we humans were not created for "time" as we know it, but rather for eternity. Despite the fact that we live "in time", time always seems like a foreign thing to us.

Is that why seasons pass so quickly?

Is that why I burst into tears of grief as well as joy when my daughter turns five, or when my smallest son takes a few steps by himself, six months after I expected him to?

Is that why death take so long to arrive when someone is suffering, and yet it still seems too soon when it does happen?

Is that why after 10 years of washing dishes in this particular kitchen (and 28 other years before that), it still surprises and saddens me to see a golden leaf flutter by my window in the fall, instead of a golden butterfly?

3 Comments:

Blogger Moogie said...

Wow -keep writing and photographing. I enjoy "seeing a bit of your world" you, Kim and Jean have done an excellent job of blogging. I got lost in the Flickr KAP shots and didn't comment immediately. Perhaps some of us were ment to read blogs rather than update our own!

9/27/2005 8:31 PM  
Anonymous kim said...

Ooh I'm sorry your new camera bit the dust. But your pictures are beautiful - I love the big KAP one you posted, and the image of BigE and Chickie playing in the sand, it reminds me of our trip to Pt. Pelee when we were little, do you remember that? I also love that picture of the leaf in the grass, it's very striking.

Off to look at the rest of your KAP pix, now. My two-handed time is already up. I'll be praying for Daniel's dad and his family.

9/27/2005 8:58 PM  
Anonymous kelly said...

thanks! I have fun writing and taking photos - I really can't stop myself from doing either - so it's nice to hear that others enjoy seeing the end result. And thanks for your prayers too.

Moogie, if it's not fun for you to write blogs, don't feel bad about not doing it. For me it's my much-anticipated break in the day. :-) I'll let you do all the origami instead. I can never remember the folds and I have too much 17-month-old "help" for that!

9/28/2005 4:15 PM  

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