Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i'd be lost

My sister wrote a blog entry about a "ladies night out" that she went to, where she was frustrated by the other women who "jokingly" complained about their husbands and how they "deserved" time away from their families. I've shared Kim's frustration in the past as well.

When I mentioned Kim's post to Daniel, he said the best response he ever heard came from his friend Paul. Some guys they were both working with were complaining about their wives spending all their hard-earned money, how easy it is to stay at home all day, etc. In a pause in their conversation Paul said,

"man, I'd be lost without Sue. She takes care of my books. She takes care of the children and homeschools them. She gets the groceries and cooks the meals. She does all the laundry. All of this without complaining. She's always there to listen to me and talk to me."

Daniel said it shut all the guys right up... partly because they knew Paul meant every word he said. It condemned their words without anger or finger-pointing.

I feel the same way about Daniel as Paul does about his wife, but have trouble getting words out in conversation. So I thought I'd work out my words here on my blog, so they would be ready in case I was in a similar situation - or just because I need to remember to tell Daniel how much I appreciate him.

I would be lost without Daniel. He's a terrific husband and a wonderful father. He genuinely loves me and the kids, though there are days I'm not quite sure if any of us have earned that sort of unqualified love.

He goes to work every day, and doesn't complain about having to work, nor about my staying home. He appreciates the work I manage to get done at home (laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, running errands and childcare - though I rarely get more than two of those "done" on the same day) and doesn't complain about the things that are perpetually left undone.

Daniel is a creative genius who has learned to weld, to blacksmith, to do basic carpentry, to build and fly his remote controlled camera rig, and too many other things to list. He has rebuilt everything from trucks to fans to buzzsaws, to make them better, stronger and/or faster. He can diagnose and fix just about anything electrical or mechanical. But he's still willing to do the yucky mundane tasks like washing furnace filters, or chopping wood, or changing the oil in the cars.

He values my gifts and lets me use them. He lets me crop and fix his kite pictures. He asks intelligent questions about why I adjust colors the way I do in Photoshop, and tells me that he doesn't understand it but it really does seem to improve the pictures. When he has to write something, he asks me to go over it with him, and graciously and humbly submits to my endless questions and fine-tuning - and is actually grateful for my help.

He doesn't mind me spending time playing with fonts, or trying unsuccessfully to make soap dough... even when there are still dishes in the sink. If I get distracted for too long, he'll gently suggest that it might be time, for my own good, to put the computer or the craft project away for a few days.

He listens well. He does not get frustrated with or embarrassed by my tears. If he thinks of any solutions to my problems, he suggests them - but he often just listens and empathizes. He is truly my best friend.

He's gentle, kind, patient and loving... and to top it all off, he's really handsome too.


Blogger Wool Winder said...

A beautiful tribute to your husband. The way I see it, the two of you are blessed to have each other. So refreshing to read of a marriage where there is mutual love and respect. So sad that this is not the norm in our country today.

11/30/2005 9:45 AM  
Anonymous kim said...

Hey! No making me cry before school in the morning. That was really beautiful. And it's all true, I've met the man. And wool winder is right, you are blessed to have each other, because you're equally neat and wonderful. I really like you guys. :-D

I'm going to "steal" this in the good way, make it a self-appointed meme. Although I have another entry I need to make, first.

Thanks, Kelly. You're a good example for us all!

11/30/2005 10:45 AM  

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